DECADES since Coleraine last played Casterton in football, there may yet again be a line drawn in the sand - or Sandford, as it were - at Muntham with the recent announcement of a new canine event to complement - or compete with - the annual kelpie celebrations to the west.
Happy (or hoppy) corgis are set to feature in a future weekend of racing, jumping, yelping, slobbering and chasing anything that moves - at least until they change direction randomly or stop, which could be at any moment.
Former Southern Grampians Shire mayor, Howard Templeton, said the event would be a great drawcard for the town, with interest already coming from “far and wide” - as wide as the average corgi’s rear end in fact.
“This will definitely put Coleraine on the map,” he said.
“Although which map that will be is anyone’s guess.”
Corgis were originally developed for - believe it or not - herding on farms in Wales and with a history going back to the 12th Century, the breed has two types, Cardigan and Pembroke, with the latter best known in the last few decades for being the late Queen Elizabeth’s choice since she was young.
While it’s not clear how much interest there will be from the district’s farmers for the event - as virtually no self-respecting Australian grazier would be seen dead herding their mobs with corgis - there may very well be a drawcard that can’t be ignored: royalists will be pleased to know there have been enquiries about getting some very special dogs to attend.
“What I’ve heard is that Fergie - who’s now looking after the Queen’s corgis - she might pop out,” Mr Templeton said.
While Muick and Sandy’s presence remains to be confirmed, Coleraine has in fact seen a ‘royal’ corgi before, with a former resident having one named ‘The Duke of Edinburgh’, and the owner once turning up with him to an event dressed as the Queen.
Scoffers may scoff, mockers may mock and dissenters may diss at the overall concept of Coleraine Corgis, but the popularity of the breed worldwide has even extended to the USA where races are held at half time at some NFL games - something sure to be a spectacle locally as well.
Races will be held in heats with the final expected to be a thriller - as the saying goes, ‘short legs get stronger as the race gets longer’.
Social media has recently immortalised them in memes as possessing considerably less than royal dignity – ‘derp’ being a term used to describe the corgis in a photo with a stupid expression, eyes at weird angles, and usually with their tongue hanging out.
It’s not that hard to catch the breed in a ‘derp’ moment, or doing double-legged ‘sploots’ when lying down, but even easier is to compare the Pembroke version to a common sight in a bakery.
“From the right angles, they look like freshly-baked bread,” Coleraine Pastoral and Agricultural Society president, Jessica Sutherland said.
“So along with races and the derp photo competition, we’ll be judging them on how closely they resemble that.
“We thought of calling it ‘Handsome Pants’, but the winner will be awarded the inaugural ‘King/Queen of the Loafs’ trophy, which may or may not refer to more than just the colour of their coat.”
She said the P & A Society was thrilled to hold the event at the Coleraine Showgrounds and has been personally researching the breed’s genetic heritage, including their kooky idiosyncrasies and occasional asinine style.
“There’s a lot of speculation as to whether the kelpie has some dingo in their history, but we can be certain corgis have a substantial amount of drongo,” Ms Sutherland said.
“That scurrying running action is the canine equivalent of a defective shopping trolley - it looks like a slinky fuzzball on stumps - or an oversized baguette wiggling on ice.
“The whole event won’t cost that much to run - there’ll be considerable advantages in terms of modest fencing requirements, with corgis unable to jump more than a foot.”
Ms Sutherland said there was no set date for the event, but said it was such a great idea it should be held as soon as possible, even today.
Happy April Fool's Day from The Spec!
