FOLLOWING Saturday’s fatal car accident at Bochara that claimed four lives, Lee-Ann Elmes, mother of one of the deceased, Joshua Elmes, spoke about dealing with the grief and how she wanted to bring the situation from “tragedy to legacy”.

“I’ve lost a child, yes, and it’s devastating, and it is a parent's worst nightmare, 100 per cent - and I wouldn't want anyone else to go through this again,” she said.

“But I want something good to come of it.”

Lee-Ann said she had already been talking with people before the accident pursuing an idea to support local youth, but her focus was now especially sharpened.

“I'm hoping that the council will hear all this,” she said.

“But we were hoping for a drop-in youth centre.

“I know the youth are going out and vaping at night, I know that youth are going out and drinking and I know that youth are hanging around and doing stupid stuff at night-time.

“I want a place for the youth to go where they can play pool, they can play air hockey, they can play VR games.

“I know that the Baptists (Church) have one, and I'm grateful for that, but I want a youth centre that’s open 24/7.

“I know the youth of Hamilton are out at night at 12 o'clock. I know they’re out at times where they should be in bed asleep, I get that.

“But if they are, then they've got a place other than Macca’s, a place other than the Melville Oval to run around and do rubbish. (Instead) come to the Hamilton youth drop-in centre - that it is a legacy for Josh and all the others.”

Lee-Ann said she would like the Southern Grampians Shire to take another look at their priorities with their recent allocation of funding in their draft budget, especially with “a grant of I don’t know how many million”.

“So it's been said, on the council, apparently, they want to do up the Hamilton Art Gallery,” she said.

“I know, I'm not a full local because I wasn't born here, but I’m really not sure why we need to upgrade the Hamilton Art Gallery. What use is the Art Gallery to the youth?

“I do know, we need to make allowances for all age groups in town, I get that - and I don't want to put anyone off … but we need to set aside money to help the youth of this town now that this tragedy has happened.

“I'm sad that it had to take a tragedy to get it, but so be it.

Lee-Ann said even Joshua’s younger brother, Aaron had said “if it takes Joshua's death to help this community and his friends for this not to happen again, then I’m happy”.

“That’s his 12-year-old brother saying that,” she said.

“We need to change the patterns of the youth in this town, because a lot of them are going to drugs and I know there's a huge drug problem in this town.”

She said the effect of Joshua’s death was immediately devastating on the rest of the family and she lamented a succession of negative factors on his life over recent years without seeming relief.

“I know that Josh had a very strong faith,” Lee-Ann said.

“He didn't show in his later years because (of) peer pressure … his grandmother died when he was 12; (he was) very close to her.

“Then he moved states, then he ended up at Monivae at high school … and then lockdown and all that.

“It just went boom, boom, boom for him – (that) just really hit his mental status … it didn't really help him in his later years, but as a young kid, he really had a faith in Christ.”

Lee-Ann pointed to her own faith as a significant driver for her own response to such a catastrophic turn of events and spoke of how it has already surprised some people.

“I harbor no hatred, I harbor no unforgiveness towards anyone in that car who was driving or who coerced or picked up or whatever,” she said.

“And they say, ‘Oh, you’re so great, I don’t think I could do that’ – and I said, if I didn't have my faith, I wouldn't be able to.”

She said she was extremely grateful for the support her family has received, especially from Monivae and her church community at Grace Fellowship, and she wanted to make sure the surviving girl would be able to receive healing.

“She's got to live with survivor's guilt,” Lee-Ann said.

“We're going to have to put an arm around her and support her - she's going to need a lot of support from this community because she’s going to be that survivor and it is real, it is totally, totally real.

“She's going to have go through moments where she's going to want to not be there anymore. I just don’t want that for her.”

One girl she had spoken to was already struggling with this, as it was only a netball game on Saturday that prevented the girl from staying out late and being part of the group.

“She’s absolutely gutted, she (said) ‘I should’ve been in that car’,” Lee-Ann said.

The reminders of road safety were now all too real for Lee-Ann.

“I want road safety, I want people to look at when they climb into a car to remember Josh and these kids,” she said.

“I want car tyres looked after, I want maintenance of cars, I want seatbelt worn. Every single trip you do, I don't care if it's down the road, two seconds, you're wearing a seatbelt.

“It needs to be done. Because we cannot lose more lives, we cannot.”

Lee-Ann said she had contemplated her own method of dealing with the grief and felt her own response could help others to get through.

“I need to talk about it, that’s just me,” she said.

“I need to talk about it and get it off my chest. It gives me closure. It gives me support. It gives me a process by talking and I think that's my strategy.

“My husband (Matt) is different - he internalises stuff, and that's fine too, but people who internalise stuff don't talk either, so they need to vent as well, and sometimes they can vent in wrong ways.

“I said to everyone, I said to every youth person that I’ve spoken to in the last two to three days, if you need to talk, my door is always open.”

She said another way it would help her family was to find out good things about Josh they didn’t know.

“It's my child - yes, but I want to hear good,” Lee-Ann said.

“I want to hear the stuff that that made him who he was … we're hearing stories about kids who had mental health issues and Josh was there for them, (they were) going through mental stuff (and) Josh was a big brother for someone. Josh was a great friend. Josh was there to pick up (the) pieces from another person.”

Finally, Lee-Ann said it was her privilege to organise a fundraiser to cover costs and soften the shock to the other families affected by the accident.

“I've got in contact with the two other families (but) I can't get in contact with the Montebello family yet,” she said.

“The charity fundraiser is for the famil(ies).

“I just wanted to do something on behalf of my son and leave a good legacy. Whether that's helping parents pay for funerals, helping parents take time off work to look after other kids or to take time off for themselves and grieve - whether they don't want that and then want to put it towards the activity centre, I'm happy.”

To donate, go to tinyurl.com/3bfc875s or visit the Argyle Shop in Gray Street.